Goodbye, 2008. Hi, 2009

Today is the last day of 2008. I don't feel any surprise or happiness. It's just like any other days for me. Doing the same stuffs. Many things had done in this year. I had finished my spm, and i had finished my high school life. Hmm....the only sad thing is my cousin had passed away during a bus accident. And of course, i'm still what Beyonce sings :" i'm a single lady, i'm a single lady......" Last few weeks, i thought i'm already decided and knew what i want to study, and i've told my friends i'm not gonna take foundation because it needs to cover finance, business and maths. But, this few days, i suddenly realise that i'm a bit interest in business. -.-... i'm really wish the next few days,2009, can tell me what i'm really want and what's suit for me. I hate being confuse, hate making decision. 2009 gonna be tough for me because i have to start a whole new journey. I have to leave my home and chase my dream. I have to enter a college and can only see my family once or twice in a month.And i'm gonna seperate with my best best best buddies. What can i do? This is a phase. I wish i can handle it well. 2009, i'm coming!!

My Very First Drive...

Today, I've learnt how to drive a car. Actually, i'm still not sure how much the sterling needs to turn during turning because the uncle kept helping me during the turning. Well, i know he's kind of helpful, patience and nice but i still wish to turn by myself. I've learnt with yong hui and kok liang. Kok liang is the first person to drive among us. Well, he did well too, just had some emergency stops and released the clutch too hurried. But the funniest was yong hui. I remember she kept worried and said she nervous. She collided the steel stick and almost drove into the drain. It's a bit scary but a good experience for her. She had done better after that. And me, kept forgetting what uncle had told me and kept releasing the clucth too hurried. I guess it's because i didn't get enough sleep yesterday due to none electric current. Pretty tired today....Oh..yesterday i went to ipoh to do some shopping stuff with my family and my daddy's friends. Both of them are teachers. They are nice. We have our dinner at Kim Bali Restaurent. The food is delicious, only the tomyam soup is too salty. I've bought two formal clothes for my college presentation next year. It's cheap. Two clothes cost not more than RM80. Kim Hoon teacher bought me a nike hat. I love it. Thanks her so much. During our conversation in the car, we talked about boon tat. She said boon tat told her that one day he felt his heart very very pain and suddenly 'tiao tong'. I felt -.- when she said that. I don't really trust him since he changed a lot. He always said he has heart disease and his heart always feels pain, but when he consult a doctor, doctor said nothing's wrong with his heart. I think he might be too emotional or anger and cause his heart pain. And now, i'm really think he's a bit pyscho. Sorry, li guat, i didn't mean to tease him, but sometimes he's really over reacted and fake. Sometimes, i really wish u can break up with him so that your life can be better without him. But, decision is in your hand. I really wish u can make your right decision.

I'm sorry...

Last few days, i received l.s. message, she told me the one she loves is w.s. I'm surprised i'm the one she talked to because she seldom did that. She said she never forget him since they broken up and till now, deep down inside her heart, she is suffering, because she is loving someone that she should not love. For me, w.s is a playboy and that's what my friends told me. I asked her to forget him, but she could not. She said it's easy to say, but hard to do. She's right. It's really hard to forget someone that you love, even me. She asked me what can she does and I really didn't know how to answer her. I'm a loser in this stuff too. I always advise people do that, not to do that, think that, not to think that, but me, one word, suck. A long long long time ago, i did a very very very, extremely wrong decision. That decision not only make me regret till now, it also hurted someone's heart. I am so stupid. I knew I like him, but i couldn't accept him because i scared i will have a bad ending when i have a relationship with an impatience person. Even me, myself is this kind of person. And at the end, to regret him, i said i had a wrong feeling, i didn't even like him. What a suck excused. I can't believe i will give him such a suck excused. I'm sorry for hurting your feeling. I am so sorry for what i have done and what i have said.

The friends that make me cried

Just read wei's blog. One of it is about my sweet 17 birthday. I remember every moment and every second with my dearest friends. That was the craziest birthday i have ever had. When i read the birthday message which wei sent to me, i am so uncontrolled and my tears almost came out from my eyes. The message had woke me up. It told me that i will seperate with my best friends soon. And i knew that we will have our own life next year. And i knew that it is hard to find such good friends like them in the future. I'm happy because we will have a brand new lifestyle in the future, we can finally fulfill our dreams. But deep down inside my heart, i am so sad because we will leave our hometown, go to different cities, and i am so scare that we will forget each other after several years. I wish i can stop the time so that i can freeze the moment we gather. I wish god will bring us together in the future, although we are far apart from each other. And i wish all of you good luck in your future.